i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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