bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize