I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
