Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
