His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
