she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
time to smoke my breakfast
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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