I just saw a hot homeless man
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
