If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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