I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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