haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
