You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
