you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
