Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
