When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
