I'm gonna have a badass scar
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
