Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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