Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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