She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
