my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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