I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
