and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize