Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
