Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
