i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
