hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
