so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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