Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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