your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
