Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
