she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize