he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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