He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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