Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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