He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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