It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
