In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
