please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
