why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize