Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
