...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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