well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
