he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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