well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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