I'm drive I can fine osifer
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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