If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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