Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize