Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
