I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
