Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You need Xanax blowdarts
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
