Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
