I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Randomize