He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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