she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize