oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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