batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
