Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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