And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
