Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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