Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
