My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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