it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
