I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
