Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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