4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
