It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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