I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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