Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
